How do you compare?

As humans why do we continually compare ourselves to others?  Why do we focus on what other people are doing and what they have, rather than focusing on our own true wants and needs? Why do we feel the need to try to manipulate situations or people to achieve the best outcome for ourselves? 

This state of comparison often leads us away from making our own path and on that path uncovering the truths and lessons that it holds for us.  It holds us in repetitive behavioural patterns and stop us from being truly unique and authentic and it can keep us following the beaten path and therefore fail to uncover our own successes and joy.

Don’t get me wrong there are aspects in life where we will need to compare ourselves against the standards of others for example in sports, the achievements of others in the workplace, etc and this can be healthy in motivating us to perform better.   It is the comparison to others and the idea that somehow in comparison we are lacking that is the issue.  The idea that we must do more, be more and have more than others to be happy. The view that life is a race to be won, or a list to tick off and that someone else’s gain is our loss.

The only comparison we need is with ourselves – was I a better person today, was I more in touch with myself, how do I feel about myself at the end of the day, is there anything I could have done better?  Not to be better than anyone else but to be better than the person I was yesterday. In this comparison we also need to have an abundance of self-compassion, to not beat ourselves up when maybe we didn’t let someone cut in front of us in traffic or the supermarket line, or we had a shorter fuse than we would like.  Life is about growth, but most importantly it is about having fun and finding your joy.  xx